Basic guidelines for first-time moms
To channel you through your journey of being a first-time mom, allow me to enumerate a few guidelines, shared by two great moms, you might consider.
Being
a mother, especially a new one, is no easy task. You have to master
the technique of how to fully take care of the little one, the
husband, as well as the house. There is the dealing with diapers,
tantrums, the terrible twos, sleepless nights, household chores and
keeping the romance with the hubby, which altogether are nothing
compared to the inner complex struggles of being a mom.
A
paradox, however, lies behind this fact that strongly proves why
there are women who still want to be a mom.
“When
the baby comes in, life becomes more meaningful—it has more
purpose,” shares Maribeth “Betsy” Fajardo-Flores, 32, a teacher
and mother of Julia Beatrice.
Babies,
truly, are blessings. They change one’s or even a couple’s lives
through bizarre but wonderful ways—except that taking care of them
might be a little bit tricky especially if it is your first time.
Dr.
Lourdes Biscocho-Gubatan, a pediatrician and mother of six, shares,
“Being a first-time mom is like traversing a crossroad—you fear
many unknown things, yet you’re happy with what you’re going
through.”
From
the moment you missed your period to the moment you became positive
with your pregnancy, a lot of things happen. You may start asking
yourself, “Am I prepared for this?” or “What am I going to do?”
But, really, there are more reasons to be cheerful and proud of
becoming a mom than be scared and remorseful.
- Be ready
Whether
it is planned pregnancy or not, the best thing to do is be
ready—emotionally, physically, even financially—for your baby.
Think
about it—if you are not ready, how do you think you would properly
mold your child? How do you think you could provide him/her with the
things he/she needs? How could you give him/her a good life which
he/she actually deserves?
So,
prepare.
“It
is important, especially during the first trimester of becoming a
mom, to take in information. Ask your mommy-friends and your mother
how they did on their first. Research for books and more information
you deem would help you in facing this new chapter of your life,”
Dr. Gubatan says.
Gear
up with enough knowledge on how you would take care of your baby.
Betsy, who had MA units in childhood development and education,
shares that at the moment she got pregnant, “I read books about
pregnancy, how to take care of myself, including the proper
nourishment moms need. Because having an apt idea on what you’re
coming into is very important.”
It
would also help if you would start with good nutrition (which should
have actually begun the moment you learned you were pregnant) so
you could be more fit to watch over the baby. This way, you could
avoid any kind of illness, and this would certainly benefit you and
your little one.
And
more technically speaking, you have to be ready financially. You
would be needing and buying a lot of things: milk, bottles, crib,
clothes, stroller, etc. The list also includes vaccinations and
regular check-ups with the pediatrician.
- Know what is right (must)
Part
of becoming a first-time mom is to know and understand what your baby
needs the most. One of these is the Newborn Screening (NBS) Test.
Dr.
Gubatan explains, “NBS is a must. There is already a law about it.
Even in health centers, primary and tertiary hospitals, we have NBS.
Malaki
ang maitutulong ito for
the future of the child (It would help a lot for the future of the
child).”
She
explains that through such test, wherein blood from an infant’s
foot is extracted, at least five illnesses may be determined, namely,
congenital hypothyroidism, congenital adrenal hyperplasia,
galactosemia, phenylketonuria and glucose-6-phosphate dehydrogenase
deficiency. She adds that this information will also help
pediatricians monitor the baby’s health as he or she is growing up.
Aside
from this, you must also recognize the importance of breastfeeding.
“I
think breast milk is still the best milk. Its benefits outweigh the
offers of formulated milks. It is more preventive,” Dr. Gubatan
maintains.
It
is better for you to actually learn how to breastfeed your baby for
at least nine months, even if you are a working mom.
Betsy
shares that prior to taking a leave from the school where she is
teaching, she was also taking half days off. “Aside from (the fact
that) I want to personally take care of Julia, I wanted to make sure
that she is breastfed. Alam
ko kung gaano yun ka-importante at ayoko rin namang masayang yung
gatas ko
(I know how important it is and at the same time, I don’t want my
milk to go to waste).”
Meanwhile,
Dr. Gubatan stresses that first-time moms of this generation should
note that there are various myths that should not be practiced
anymore. Like the use of bigkis
(binders)
that is believed to curb kabag
or the use of mittens. “These don’t have any scientific basis.”
- Don’t keep MDs at bay
Within
the first week of delivery, it is important that you bring your
little one to a pediatrician. Do this as often as necessary
especially if there are vaccines your baby needs to take. You should
be fully aware of the expanded program on immunization, including the
updates, so that you will not be left behind.
Your
pediatrician would give you additional information—in a more
personalized approach—on how you should appropriately take care of
your child. Hence, it is best to have the contact number of your
regular pediatrician in case of any emergencies.
- Accept changes
Inevitably,
motherhood comes with a lot of changes—changes in lifestyle,
attitude, physical appearance, even in your perception of things.
Betsy
shares that after giving birth to Julia, she cannot constantly go out
with her friends anymore. She does not even have a personal bag
anymore when they go out (she just carries Julia’s baby bag
instead) and above all, she cannot do all the things she wants to do
like watch her favorite TV show, or surf the net for long hours. But,
Betsy says, “no regrets at all.”
She
adds, “I waited for so long for this. I can always catch up with my
favorite TV shows that I missed. They are just there. They won’t be
gone. But babies? They grow up so fast. And I don’t want to miss
her developmental milestones which are truly precious moments.”
Thus,
you
must learn how to adjust and go on with life. You are a mom now, and
you must accept that fact along with other things that come with it.
- Ask for help
Facing
this new chapter of your life requires great effort. But, if you can
no longer bear the difficulty, ask for help.
As
Betsy narrates, there are times when she worries and asks herself,
“Am I doing enough?” “Personally kasi
as
a mom, gusto
kong ibigay lahat. Kaso parang kulang. Hindi ko rin nabibigay o
nagagawa lahat kasi napapagod din ako physically.
(Personally as a mom, I want to give my all. However, I feel like
there is something lacking. I still cannot give or do everything
because I, too, get tired physically).
Thus,
at times like these, it is best if you have someone you can lean on,
someone you can ask for help whenever necessary, like your husband or
your mom.
In
Betsy’s case, she admits she is lucky to have a partner in life who
is willing to share the hardships and challenges of parenthood.
“My
husband Frisco, when he comes in after work, he automatically takes
care of Julia, then he helps me
with
the chores. He does the ironing of the clothes, washing of the
clothes etc. He would also sing to Julia, read books to her,
everything I wanted him to do for her, he really does all of them,”
she shares.
Having
a partner you can depend on would somewhat make your burden as a mom
lighter and easier.
- Always have “me time”
As
what others say, in order for you take care of others, take care of
yourself first. This is true, especially when taking care of an
infant. The more energized you get, the more competent you are in
performing your responsibility as a mom.
“I
make it a point to attend to myself because I don’t want to appear
weak. After a hard day’s work, you owe it to yourself to spend time
alone. Besides, when you come back, you feel more recharged and you
feel good about yourself,” Betsy claims.
- Learn and enjoy!
Lin
Yutang, an international Chinese writer and inventor, once said, “Of
all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.”
So,
mom, be joyful and proud! In your every day journey in motherhood,
it is best to just enjoy and learn from it. And as you do, make sure
that you are doing your responsibilities properly by giving all your
love and affection to your little one.
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| Betsy with husband Frisco and baby Julia :) |
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